One fixer upper . . .

(Insider joke about an insider joke - this'll be the scoop on "The Note" tomorrow)

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!"

However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. "Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on the deal. The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

The inevitable retort . . .

Ouch, Nancy . . . "culture of corruption"?

Washington, D.C. - House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi released the following statement today following the criminal indictment of House Majority Leader Tom DeLay by a Texas grand jury:

"The criminal indictment of Majority Leader Tom Delay is the latest example that Republicans in Congress are plagued by a culture of corruption at the expense of the American people."

The Texas Two-Step Skunk:

Tom Delay . . . worthy ot today's "Jackass of the Day" (month & year, as well) award.
Delay to step down as Majority Leader following indictment

Breaking news . . .

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay indicted on one count of criminal conspiracy by Texas grand jury, according to Travis County clerk's office . . . more soon.

Commander in Chief . . . not so commanding.

Nice, but not too credible

Uhhh, Geena's cute

The series premier of ABC's "Commander in Chief" was not so good. Ok, ok . . . woman in office - we get it . . . now get over it! Also, there were some obvious "constitutional" flaws (like trying to get the elected VP to resign when the President dies because she's an Independent . . . and a woman). There were a variety of other flaws, but they mainly dealt with Washington wrangling and power grabs - President Geena made some major power-shift and diplomatic errors, which- to the young viewing audience (target group)- probably didn't seem so bad . . . but would never have actually happened in the White House. As one critic pointed out, "fantasy" was a little to prevalent in the script.

The show had little actual conviction . . . it capitulated to moderation and feminist ideology. But we digress . . . it'll appeal to young girls (as it should) and will provide them with some political inspiration.

No, no . . . Apple is infallible!

Apple admits to faults with new iPod Nano

The Delay is over?

He did a "bad, bad thing" . . .
Texas investigation winds down, Tom Delay could be charged

The Meth Driven Life:

This makes so much more sense . . .

"In her new book, Unlikely Angel, written with Stacy Mattingly and in stores today, Smith reveals some surprising details of the seven hours she spent in her home with a desperate man, including her admission that she shared crystal methamphetamine (or “ice”) with her captor."